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4 Catt. 4: In re Dangerously Delicious Pies

2011 December 28
by JEREMY, C.J.

JEREMY, C.J., delivered the opinion of the Cart. CATTLEYA, J., delivered a separate concurrence.

I have waited a long time to try Dangerously Delicious Pies. I have quite a thing for pies, which may, perhaps, rival my affinity for duck. Twice now, I have approached the truck only to have it drive away before I could procure any baked good. At Truckeroo last, we were finally able to hail Dangerously Delicious Pies (“DDP”) before this Cart for deliberation. We limit our grant of cartiorari to the question of DDP’s blackberry pie.

Dangerously Delicious Pies

I had wanted to begin my review with a Twin Peaks reference. Or rather a Twin Beaks reference, for those acquainted with the collected works of one Alistair Cookie. “Darn fine pie,” I had so wanted to say. But, alas, I find myself unable to do so.

DDP’s blackberry pie was not terrible. I could have finished it, and mostly enjoyed each bite, but it tasted like any pie I could purchase from Safeway or Giant. Both the thin top crust (the bottom crust was non-existent) and the blackberry filling tasted, in a word, old. Granted we tasted the pie near the end of an all-day event, which may be the cause of this taste of antiquity. Cf. In re PORC, 4 Catt. 1 (2011). (If time permits, I may grant reconsideration in this case of my own motion, to determine whether a lunchtime pie provides a more pleasurable experience.)

Blackberry Pie

In the end, I am led to believe this may be one more instance in which food that satisfies the Eat Wonky test (i.e., true street food, or “the kind[] . . . that can be cooked in front of you and [is] meant to be eaten with your hands, without forks, while standing up”) is simply better suited to “mobile gastronomic enterprises.” See In re Eat Wonky, 2 Catt. 5 (2011). Cf. PORC, 4 Catt. 1; In re Hula Girl, 3 Catt. 7 (2011). Baked goods are made elsewhere and simply transported to a curbside, having no direct reliance on curbside preparation, and thus fail our Eat Wonky test. This is true for pie trucks and likely also for cupcake trucks. (But should the case of any cupcake truck come before this Cart, I vow now, given my severe aversion to cupcakeries, to recuse myself. It will be for my sister to determine whether this supposition is borne out by reality.)

REMANDED to Dangerously Delicious Pies for revision.

CATTLEYA, J., concurring.

I concur. While it should come as no surprise to the devoted reader that I prefer pie a la mode, I so wanted to like DDP’s blackberry pie. Unfortunately, for the reasons stated in the Cart’s opinion, I did not. What’s even more unfortunate is that this blackberry pie will be remembered as the third dish we Cart Justices did not finish. See In re CapMac, 1 Catt. 1 (2011); In re Sâuçá, 4 Catt. 3 (2011) (Cattleya, J., concurring). At $6.50, it was not the worst waste of money, but a waste it still was. Cf. Sâuçá, 4 Catt. 3 ($8 of unfinished food).

Finally, I want to take a moment to declare that, yes, I will answer my brother’s cupcake call. Although cupcakes do not, at first glance, appear to meet the Eat Wonky street food test, see In re Eat Wonky, 2 Catt. 5 (2011), I am willing to sample this dessert for the sake of justice. I list here, in advance, the elements that I look for in a cupcake: 1) a moist cake; 2) a buttercream frosting (fondant icing will never do); 3) a good cake-frosting ratio; and 4) a comforting flavor, like red velvet or chocolate hazelnut.

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